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Why You Need To Stop Following THAT Facebook Friend


We all have them – that one Facebook Friend (FF) who posts pictures of themselves in compromising situations; has daily public meltdowns; openly mocks and antagonizes their exes; or posts things one might generally find distasteful and irresponsible. The problem is, that particular FF may actually be a friend or family member that you have regular face-to-face contact with. They may also be someone that in the real world you actually like. Defriending your FF isn’t ideal – although always an option. Let’s face it though, that could lead to whole lot of drama. And you’re looking for less drama, right? So, what’s the next best thing? Simple really: stop following your FF.

Now if your FF is someone who solely uses Facebook for all manners of offense and distaste, you may want to consider putting them on a ‘Restricted’ list as well. If they’re irresponsible enough to post that kind of rubbish regularly, how responsible do you suppose they are with their security settings?

Why would your friend’s security matter to your account? If they are given ‘Friend’ status on your Facebook account, this usually means they have access to things like photos and your contact information (depending on how much you share with Facebook).  How confident are you that your FF logs out of Facebook after each use or has passwords on all devices that they might use Facebook on?  If they are irresponsible enough to tarnish their online identity, why should you trust them with yours? Giving them the same kind of access that any stranger has is probably the best way to sidestep the possibility of a security breach (other than defriending them… which is always an option).

The best part about unfollowing and restricting your FF is that they’re none the wiser. They don’t get notified that they’ve been ‘downgraded’. And if they’re truly self-absorbed, they won’t even notice the absence of your posts on their newsfeed. Adding your FF to the ‘Restricted’ list in Facebook does mean that they will only see ‘Public’ posts from you, but that’s kind of the point, right?

Here’s how you do it:

  • Go to your FF’s profile page.
  • Locate the ‘Following’ button on the lower right portion of the cover photo section.
  • Now click that button, and there you have it – no more posts from your FF on your newsfeed!

If you’ve decided that your FF warrants harsher measures, use the ‘Friends’ button to add them to your ‘Restricted’ list. Problem solved.

So, why does it matter how you communicate and represent yourself online? Think about it for a second: whenever you comment, post, or upload, you’re leaving an imprint of your activity on the Internet. It’s activity that you consciously choose to share. You make choices about what you’re going to share, and the manner in which you’re going to communicate it. Over time, this collection of activity and communication becomes consolidated by the powers of the Internet, and voilà – you’ve created a virtual identity (which may or may not be like your real world identity)! And here’s the most eye-opening thing about it: that identity you create – are creating – is going to be your online legacy.  Many years after your time, your virtual identity will still exist. There aren’t any ‘do-overs’. You won’t get to go online and simply delete all those things you wish you hadn’t posted. Once they’re out there, they belong to the Internet.

It’s your identity. It’s your legacy. Choose wisely.

M. xo

Categories: Society and Culture Tags: ,
  1. Jane
    July 12th, 2014 at 11:34 | #1

    This is very good advice – I’ve done it twice for two different reasons.
    I reconnected with a familiy member I did not grow up with, became friends on FB after a family gathering and then had my newsfeed infiltrated with off-the-wall status updates and posts almost every twenty minutes. Serious mood swings, expressions of extreme joy, anger, sadness, sometimes within the span of a few hours, and felt the need to share EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM with the world. It wasn’t the way I wanted to get to know this family member. Unfollowing was the best thing I could do. Now I can visit their page when the mood strikes me, because trust me, a little goes a long way, lol!
    The second incident is trickier – a falling out with a friend who I still need to coexist with daily in my life. Its a toxic relationship that under other circumstances I would just ‘unfriend’ (both in FB and in the real world) and be done, but this situation doesn’t work that way and to keep things amicable, its ‘business as usual’ to the outside world. Seeing their posts caused me some emotional distress as I am still raw from the fallout. Unfollowing was the best way for me to move on and heal. Ignorance is bliss.