the feed @ blackchicken

Well, it’s officially a milestone!  This week, The Feed, celebrates its first year of feather ruffling and hen-pecking.  In all honesty, I’m not really sure what my goal was when I started this blog.  Truth is, I love to write and it’s much more about the journey for me than a means to an end.  Yeah, I know how ridiculously cliché that sounds, but it’s the honest-to-goodness truth.  And while I may not have posted as regularly as I had initially intended, the fact is I’m still perched here — chirping and squawking.  That, in itself is a pretty big accomplishment, so allow me a moment to strut.

Over the last year I’ve posted about the environment, art, family, religion, and general stuff that I found interesting.  I’m sure if you’ve read my blog you’ve discovered that I’m at times long-winded, passionate to a fault, and clearly looking for attention (isn’t that last point something common among all bloggers?).  I hope you’ve also been able to see that I am constantly asking questions and challenging myself and others to do the same.  I’m sure, as time goes on, that I’ll write things that seem to contradict or veer off onto a completely different path than what you’ve been accustomed to reading.  That’s because this is a journey, as are most things we do in life.  People change, grow and discover new things about themselves.  I’ve just chosen to share a part of my journey with the world.

One thing I do refrain from doing is posting too many personal details about myself.  Let’s face it, my subject matters are bound to incite some intense discussion, and I figure at some point in the future I’m bound to receive some hate mail.  After all, it’s not like I’m writing about my favourite recipes or the latest tech trend.  I write about stuff that gets people in a flap, and I certainly can’t expect people to always agree with me.  I do, however, expect that those who don’t will approach their discourse in a manner that is respectful.  This, I know, will not always occur.  That is the biggest reason why I, for the most part, keep anonymous.

Since it has been a year, I thought I would share a few details about myself that I haven’t yet.  Mostly, so you can get an idea of who the person is behind the feathers.

I love school.  The proof is in the fact that I’m a thirty-something gal who has been in school since kindergarten (except for a few year break where I was flying the skies in the working world).  I’ve studied advertising, public relations, marketing.  I have a degree in psychology and am on my way to completing honours degrees in both religion and psychology.

My career has been varied, mostly because I get bored so easily.  I’ve worked in events management, sales, marketing and administration.  I’ve been employed with high tech companies, not-for-profit organizations and as a freelance consultant.  I even had a stint as an online writer for a now defunct Web site.

I’m married to the most wonderful man who supports whatever endeavour I choose to pursue.  I have an awesome family and circle of friends that also support and encourage me in all my pursuits.  I love animals, especially cats.  I have three beautiful felines, one of which has been a companion for almost two decades.

I consider myself an amateur writer and artist.  I’ve written poetry and many short stories over the years – and have three novels in progress.  Someday I hope to finish at least one of them.  I’ve also kept a diary since I was twelve years old.  It’s turned into several volumes over the years, and while I may not write as often as I did in my teen years – I still find solace in the pages that hold my inner most secrets and desires.  My artistic pursuits have ranged from painting, mixed media and video.  A few years ago I had the pleasure of working on a couple independent documentaries as editor.  Mostly, I paint for the love of it; however, I hope to one day start selling my work.  A few of my friends and family have my pieces adorning their walls and this brings me much happiness.

Generally, I consider myself outgoing.  I do find this hard, at times, mostly because I have an anxiety disorder that makes the simplest of social exchanges difficult for me.  When you first meet me, I may come off as shy.  That’s mostly because I feel like my heart is going to explode and that I can’t breathe, especially in unfamiliar situations.  At times, my disorder has manifested itself as obsessive-compulsive in nature, and at least once in my life I experienced a depressive episode that made life almost unbearable.  I’m not ashamed to admit these things because I accept that I cannot change them.  We all have challenges and mine just happens to be one that I sometimes am not able to control, but I can manage it and that’s what I do.

People have told me that I have a unique laugh.  Some have said it borders on annoying, but mostly I’m told it’s music to their ears.  That’s another thing about myself that I can’t change, and I’m not sure I’d want too.  If people remember me because of my laugh, well, I can think of worse ways to be remembered.

Life is mysteriously beautiful and I embrace it.  I’m not perfect.  I have faults, but my intentions are always good -even if the outcome sometimes falls short.  The best I can do is continue on my journey and continue to learn more about myself, those around me and this crazy world we call home.  I’d be honoured if you continue this ride with me.   Here’s hoping you’ll find me a year from now, celebrating another milestone, and that I’ll find you here too.

M. xo